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THE STAY-AT-HOME MOM AND THE WORK-AWAY-FROM-HOME MOM


“You’re always going to wonder if you’re doing things wrong, but that’s what it means to be a mom, to care so much about someone else that you just want to be as perfect as possible.” —Naya Rivera
My previous post talks about my transition from being a corporate worker to a stay-at-home mom. This time I will share about the pros and cons of both working and the SAHM. This article does not intend to make anyone think less of herself but rather to open our eyes to the beauty of motherhood and how it changes a woman to be the best version of herself.
I always believe in woman empowerment and having equal rights as men. I was raised by an alpha-female woman who became a great influencer to my life. My mother single-handedly raised us when my father died, and she was only 32 then. A mom of two with no work experience braced herself to another chapter of being a full-time career woman. She juggled working from a government office to doing small business on the side. You can never really question the love of a mother, she’d do anything to give her children a better life.
I’ve always thought about writing something that would appreciate both types of mother, the working and the stay-at-home. Both deserve recognition and encouragement. One can never say I’m a better mom because I am with my kids 24/7 or I’m way better because I bring food on the table.
Ever wonder what it would be like to be on the other side? Here’s a list of comparison below.
The Working Mom
Company Compensation and Health benefits
I became a mother at 26 and I was working as a Medical Sales Representative in a Multi-National company back then. I was blessed enough because my company had a good compensation and maternity benefit that all throughout my pregnancy I was well covered. The advantages when you’re an employee are the HMO, SSS, PhilHealth, and the paid maternity leave.
Career Growth
Being a career woman also gives you a sense of fulfillment, that what you studied for years at the university can be put to good use. When I was still working, I felt so empowered because I was earning well, and I can afford to buy the things that I want for myself and for my family. But money should not be your greatest motivation in working. You should pursue career growth and never settle for stagnation. I know a lot of women who satisfied both career growth and being hands-on moms as well. Sometimes you wonder how to manage everything, but I guess the answer is Motherhood.
Financial Growth
When you have a job, it means you are contributing to the family’s financial basket. Nowadays, it’s practical that both spouses have a regular job especially that prices are going up. House loan, car mortgage, and other bills could be a burden if only the husband is working.
Bigger Circle
When you are working, you get to engage yourself to many different people. Your circle of support is bigger especially when colleagues becomes friends.
Less time with kids and family
This is the sad part of being a work-away-from-home mom. You miss some of the crucial milestones of your kids because of work. Sometimes you just want to tell your husband that you want to quit and be a full-time mom, so you can see the kids grow and support every school activity.
Kids spend more time with babysitters/ grandparents
When you are left with no choice but to hire a babysitter or ask your parents to look over your kids, the tendency is that they get more attached to them. Ever heard about mommy jealousy? It is when a mom gets jealous to her kid’s nanny or parents. Imagine that you are the mother and you’re supposed to spend more time with your child and not the nanny or your parents. I saw a video before showing how mothers and babysitters know their kid’s favorites. The nannies get to answer almost everything correctly while the mothers commit a lot of mistakes. That is why it is important that even when we are working, we should always find time to spend a few moments with our kids before going to work and coming home from work.


The SAHM
More time with family
Being a stay-at-home-mom is one thing that I wanted to be a few years back. I would always wonder how it’d be like to be one. This year I fulfilled my desire to be a SAHM and I am loving it so far. I get to spend more time with my daughter and take care of my husband better.
Hands-on to kids
When you’re a SAHM or FTM (full-time mom), you become more hands-on to kids. You get to take care of them and witness every milestone of their lives. When I resigned last March, I saw how rapid Akisha’s growing that I said to myself if I was still working I would not have witnessed this developmental growth. I used to think that my daughter was closer to her father but now that I get to spend most of my time with her, she became too attached to me already that even going to the comfort room is not a walk in the park. I have to play hide-and-seek first, so I could trick her.
More secured environment
I must say that being at home and always with my daughter gives me a sense of security that nothing bad will happen to Akisha. When I was working, I travelled a lot and there were days that I had to stay in another city. I remember one time I was in Cagayan de Oro about five hours away from Butuan City when my cousin texted me that there’s fire in our neighborhood. I was so worried that I dialed my husband’s number and all my relatives and asked them to secure my daughter and our house. Thankfully the fire did not reach our home and Akisha was safe (though her babysitter handed her to a woman she didn’t know who happened to be my Aunt’s sister-in-law who immediately came to help). I told her then to never give Akisha to anyone unless they’re my parents or brothers.
All around job but work is less recognized
The toughest job in the world is to become a household manager. You do everything from taking care of the kids to doing laundry and yet you are not earning a penny or two. You don’t have a day’s off, 13th month pay, and all the other benefits that an employee gets. What’s even sad, your work is less appreciated. I don’t like hearing from anyone that you’re just a stay-at-home mom as if the job isn’t noble at all. That is why SAHMs are prone to depression. Good thing we have many online support groups now for mothers that can help us cope up with stress and depression.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a work-away-from-home mom, you deserve all the love in the world. You are empowered, Super Nanays! Xoxo.

 #SAHM #workingmom #careerwoman #motherhood #momph #motherhoodph

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